maybellyn

113

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 21:29:35 GMT

I feel that my soul is slowly being drained out of my body. It's like my soul is slowly going to fade away.. Leaving.. Nothing but an empty shell of a body.

Got to keep myself together, keep myself together, keep myself together.

Don't leave me,

soul,

don't leave me.

Don't leave me..

Alone.

110

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:01:19 GMT

I feel like an overstretched rubber band now.

I am going to snap any moment now.

108

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 11:07:24 GMT

I really wish for the best, for you. That is all I want. For you to smile again. We all know that the day will come, where we can look back and smile, not because it's over, but because it happened.

Be strong and everything will be fine in the end.

105

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:22:17 GMT

I feel emptier than I've felt in a really long time. Problem is that I don't know what is missing. I don't know what to do about my life and I feel miserable. Do you know that? I feel so empty.

104

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:04:58 GMT

Nothing particular happened, but I feel damn suicidal. I feel that I'm going nowhere. I'm going nowhere. I feel so miserable.

Help me.

103

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:05:47 GMT

Jealousy is indeed a green eyed monster.

101

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:30:21 GMT

Hello to whoever, which is probably nobody,

I had an episode today. But wait. Today is already like.. Thursday because it's past midnight. So technically, I had an episode yesterday.

So I was in the train and I was about 2 stops away from City Hall when I suddenly felt sick. Like seriously sick. All of a sudden. Strange, I know. My stomach suddenly started hurting very badly, I felt like throwing up, my heart started beating really fast, my chest felt tight, I was breathless and I started feeling really giddy. I immediately threw my book back into my bag and struggled to feel alright. I felt like just letting myself fall into the floor of the cabin and just simply plant myself there till I felt fine again. But I could not and would not do that. I then forced myself to pull through the next 2 stops till I got out of the train to find a seat in City Hall. When the doors opened, I just rushed forward, walking into people as I swayed to my right and left like a drunkard. I suddenly felt that I was just seeing white and my hearing seemed to decrease by 50% or something. I almost fainted basically. I stumbled and fell onto one of those metal seats and i bent down to look at my feet and I started breaking out in cold sweat. Still in pain and still feeling faint.

Never have I fainted or felt faint before. This is scary in a way. I can't actually tell you how horribly terribly lousy I was feeling. I almost wanted to just lay on the floor and roll into a ball till I felt better. Almost.

This is very upsetting I don't know why.

Goodnight.

97

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:18:51 GMT

Ni hao,

I'm in class now. I'm bored. I need to eat some sweets or drink green tea. I miss green tea. I need green tea in a bottle. We're having some class consultation critic nonsense. I am not very tired today. It is amazing. I am not done with my work but I'm quite keen on doing it. Coolness. Why? I don't know why. I just feel so.

I like meows.

I wanna runaway from class soon.

Ciaoxz.

96

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 17:23:34 GMT

I quite certain that I'm problem child, full of angst, with anger management issues.

95

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 05:50:52 GMT

I'm sitting in class right now, feeling god damn damn damn damn damn damn sick of school. so many things that I need to do. So many things. So little time. So little time because I procrastinate, because I'm too tired to get started. I want a break, as always. I think I need a break. Also, I cannot help but to feel rather angry because of school today. But I won't talk about it. I want to eat something nice and have a freaking lot of sleep. I'm going to runaway from class now.

Ciao.

94

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:17:03 GMT

I am tired and the thought of going to school makes me a little sick. I feel so distant from so many things. Lately, I've been wanting to do this, to do that, but I never get anything done. Sometimes, the future scares me.

Sometimes, I think that I think about stuff too much. Maybe that is not good. Maybe it is. I don't really know. Sometimes I feel small and insignificant. Sometimes. I feel the need to accomplish certain things, but why are they never achieved?

Sometimes I wish that there was a little more time everyday, a little more reasons to be happy, a little more thrill..

But as I exhaust my time pondering about these thoughts, life's clock is ticking away, leaving me behind.

91

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 18:13:02 GMT

Sometimes, I like growing virtual crops.

Goodnight unicorns.

90

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:20:55 GMT

Lately, strangely, I've been feeling tremendously forlorn. I don't know why. Nothing in particular happened, but still..

Lonesome. Lonesome. Lonesome.

Where do lonely people go?

89

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:05:17 GMT

I have not updated in a long time. Too long actually. I keep procrastinating and I'm often too lazy to narrate whatever I felt like narrating.

But maybe I should start writing again. Maybe it is good to sometimes speak to no one in particular but myself. Maybe. I am tired right now. Too tired actually. Not just physically, but mentally too. In a weird sort of way that is. Can't seem to understand myself either.

Fucking insanity this is.

Goodnight unicorns.

82

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 08:20:36 GMT

How do you feel alright? How do you feel alright? How do you feel alright again?

Tell me.

76

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 06:50:50 GMT

Everything that I've always thought was real. Everything, all this while, all along, all throughout my life. Every time I think that something is real, it turns out not to be.

I cannot bring myself to remain here anymore. I'm just so sick and so tired, why can't anyone just understand. Why.

I think I'm going to leave soon.

Soon enough.

75

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:43:55 GMT

I really want a Canon G10 or a Nikon P5100. I would be so thrilled if someone, anyone bought it for me now. I would be so happy.

So, that aside, I don't usually update because I just don't. I guess I'll try to update a little more. So I'm going to be starting on new modules again and I'm looking forward, yet dreading it all at the same time. I'm gonna miss people. Saturday night drinking sessions must continue!!

Okay, I am tired and I'll head to bed now. Goodnight world.

71

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 19:38:29 GMT

How I wish, baby, how I wish.

48

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:06:10 GMT

Maybellyn, no more.

47

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:00:07 GMT

Was it something I did wrong.

45

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:34:57 GMT

Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light
Or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

43

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:07:46 GMT

I detest myself more than you can imagine.

This world makes me feel so darn sick. Why don't everyone just slap me in my face.

40

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:16:18 GMT

Love, the beauty lies in the imperfections.

39

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:47:47 GMT

I'm in a not-really-feeling-any-strong-emotions state right now, but in a good way though. Like, Neutral happy. Well, this is very good indeed.

Honey you, are my shining star.

38

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:23:07 GMT

Goodnight world. Sweet dreams.